I often point out that confidentiality isn’t about secrecy, it is about maintaining a confidence and that means asking:
- Do they need to know? Is the information relevant to the other person
- What do they need to know? Just because they need to know information doesn’t mean they need to know everything
However, I would suggest that there are two further questions we need to ask.
3. Why do they need to know? This will help us think about the communication and it is helpful to have clarity on things such as whether they are being told because we are looking for them to act or because this is for context.
4. Is it safe for them to know at this point? There will be times when it is legitimate for someone to be in the loop but to paraphrase the film A few good men, “they can’t handle the truth.” It will overwhelm them emotionally. I don’t think we can presume the answer for other people. So what you will want to do is check with them first.
I would encourage anyone making a confidentiality decision to work through these questions as a check list.
Faithroots 