My good friend Bob died suddenly and unexpectedly whilst in a work meeting on Friday. Bob was an architect/planner, a manager with Sport England and an elder at Bearwood Chapel. He took great joy in each of those roles though most of all in his role as a local church leader. None of them though come anywhere near close to summing up who he was.
Bob was born in Scotland and that particular brand of Scottish Bretherenism ran strongly through his veins. He moved south of the border to study architecture in Oxford, met his wife Dagmar and together they had two children, Catriona and Lars. They moved to the West Midlands and became heavily involved in their local church. Bob had a particular concern for children and young people, even helping at times with the Toddlers group. Eventually he was asked to become an elder.
My first memory of Bob is from 2009 when we came up for what was billed as an informal interview at the Chapel. The Church Leadership team were assembled with clipboards and interrogated us both. Bob seemed to be the toughest of the inquisitors. I remember coming away being very unsure about how the interview had gone, convinced he had not taken to me. So, I was surprised to get a call inviting us back for a “more formal” interview and to preach. Before the interview we went round to Bob and Dagmar’s for lunch and then drove across with him to another elder’s house. As we got out, Bob said to us:
“Don’t worry. We like you, we want you to come here. I like you and want you to come here.”
It turned out that Bob was one of our strongest supporters and allies; that’s the way it would turn out, not just during our ten years at Bearwood but in the six years since. He became one of my closest friends, indeed perhaps my closest friend in the West Midlands. This did not mean that he would just agree with me on everything. He remained a strong critic. I remember him offering me a “2 out of 10” for one of my early sermons at Bearwood. I’m still not convinced it was that bad. But Bob wanted the best from you and for you.
He offered to come round with us as we looked at houses. Bob, the architect came fully tooled up. We visited the first house. He took measurements. “Damp” he declared. “Next” and walked out. We went to another house. He looked around and spotted asbestos. At a third house as Bob and I looked into a pit in the middle of the garden, the estate agent said to Sarah, “Your friend knows his stuff doesn’t he?” Then the estate agent came up with one last suggestion. We arrived, walked in and Bob’s face lit up. It turned out to be our home for our ten years in Smethwick. Bob also gave us tons of advice and looked over the options with us when we moved.
Bob was passionate about evangelism. We would work together leading the OM teams that came to work with us. Bob and I would take the teams out to do door to door work. Together we worked out that you could get a favourable response if you simply introduced yourself as bringing round the church newsletter. There was a real longing for community identity. As I’ve already mentioned, he cared deeply about children and young people. Each year he helped lead Scripture Union camps and each week he gave substantial time to running three kids’ clubs on a Friday night, from 4-18 years old, the Sunday morning groups and then a youth group on a Sunday evening. So many young people passed through his care. I suspect he never realised the impact he had and my prayer is that seeds sown by Bob will be brought to fruition by the tragic news of his death. I loved preparing and planning programmes with him and his joy at sharing a Bible story or leading an action song. I believe one the things that gave him greatest satisfaction was when we were able to follow up to interview a young person for baptism and membership.
That commitment to the Gospel meant that Bob threw himself into supporting Nueva Vida, our Spanish congregation plant. He would be there each Saturday night, sometimes preaching through translation but also happy to be there in the background or supporting the kids work. Mind you, Bob threw himself into everything. Who can forget the time when we discovered that a leaky tap meant the baptistry was about to overflow. Without a second thought, Bob jumped in, fully clothed to pull out the plug. He realised immediately that his phone was still in his pocket.
We will miss his sense of humour, his love of the practical joke and willingness to tease. I note that his second to last Facebook post was a not so subtle dig at my tendency to drop a Bradford City reference into every sermon or article (Yes Bob, I’ve managed it here now). He could take it as well though with that same good humour. A water fight at the end of term was a crucial tradition for Friday clubs. Bob took part enthusiastically. On one occasion, Bob had gone in, dried off and changed. One OMer went inside to tell him that the young people were waiting for him to come and close their time in prayer. Out came Bob to be met by a barrage of water. Of course he laughed.
Integrity mattered to Bob. He wanted to do his best and work his hardest at whatever he did. And he saw a join up between the different aspects of life. That worked well. He brought his skills as an architect and planner into church life. At the Chapel this meant working with another elder to take over and transform an old estate agency into a community café. It also involved him giving his time freely to other churches to offer practical advice about buildings and he has worked closely with me over the past few years in supporting urban church plants and revitalisations through his gifts. It worked the other way too. He wanted his faith to shine through in his work. He was trusted as an architect in the local community whether on domestic projects, developing school buildings or even being consulted by mosques because of his Christian faith guaranteeing integrity and honesty. This joined up thinking meant that when his 360 review came up with Sport England, he would ask me to fill the form in. I wonder how many other people ask their pastor to contribute to their annual appraisal?
He was a fiercely loyal and dependable friend. Bob was there when my mum died, coming up to Bradford for the funeral. He and Dagmar were an integral part of out support network when we adopted our girls. He came over for their thanksgiving and loved having them over for lunch when we visited Bearwood.
Bob was very much the Scotsman in England. I remember that when we had a visiting team of students from Texas, we all watched the England v USA women’s football semi-final together. The Americans were stunned at Bob’s passionate support for anyone but England. Actually, I think Bob at heart was a wannabe American. He loved his trips to see family in Tucson, Arizona. I suspect he was at his happiest in the Arizona sunshine. More importantly, he got involved in his visits with a church, Alive Church creating a link between them and the Chapel. They would get him involved in things and indeed, through COVID he ended up being one of their online hosts and involved in a virtual life group.
Yet if Bob might have been lured by the sunshine of the southern states, actually his longing was for a better home. Bob was, indeed, is a citizen of Heaven and he would talk eagerly of his desire to one day be at home with the Lord. Whist his passing is weighty and hard to us, he would not want to see it as a tragedy but as an opportunity for the Gospel. I’m reminded of words attributed to Tim Keller. To paraphrase him:
“Bob is now more alive than he ever has been.”
We find ourselves saying an unexpected and unwanted goodbye to a wonderful friend and faithful Gospel partner. However, we know that Bob has heard the welcome voice of his beloved Lord and Saviour,
“Well done good and faithful servant”
Rest easy Bob.
