Tim Wilson writes here about attending church when away on holiday. It provoked a few thoughts in my mind which I’m going to share below. So, as always it’s important to emphasise that I’m not disagreeing with Tim. These were thoughts prompted, not disagreement prompted, although we may not agree on everything. I would encourage you to read Tim’s article first and prioritise his if you don’t have time to read both.
My first thought was “I’m not sure that Tim does answer the ‘should’ question in the end. He gives us some good reasons for attending church on holiday but doesn’t really say why it is a must, just why it is a benefit. I think there’s good reason for that. Whilst, generally, many of us would instinctively feel that we should attend another church on a Sunday when we are away, we probably cannot think of specific instruction on the matter. This is because the holiday vacation is actually quite a modern invention. The original meaning of the word “holiday” is to do with “holy days” and so the idea was that those days were spent with your community/church family enjoying the particular festival. The idea that we might have leisure time to head off somewhere for a few weeks and so be away from church for a Sunday or two is quite new.
Further, perhaps if we were being legalistic, we might consider our holiday recreation as being part of what we do on the 6 days of the week. If we are meant to cease those activities on our Sabbath then perhaps we should be back home for Sunday! But I’m not going to go down the legalistic cul-de-sac here. I’m comfortable with taking a full vacation away from home. This does leave us with the question of what to do with Sunday.
Now, we could say that the priority for gathering together on Sunday is to be with our immediate part of the church family. So, maybe there is a case for not seeking out a local church on that day. However, I’m with Tim that it helps us to remember that we are part of a wider family. So, I would encourage Christians to find other Christians to meet with. Indeed, that’s a principle not just for holiday Sundays but generally, we should be looking out for brothers and sisters whenever we are away from home.
The other thought Tim’s article prompted was more a confession. Tim writes:
“I always feel awkward walking into another church. It feels a bit like attending someone else’s family reunion. However, by the end of the service, I walk away feeling like part of the family.”[1]
My confession is that whilst I identify with the first part of that, “I always feel awkward walking in…” I don’t always “walk away feeling like part of the family.” I often feel awkward all the way through until I leave. Now, part of the challenge there may be that this could be how people often feel in our churches. We would like to think that everyone leaves feeling part of the family but maybe that isn’t the case in my home church and perhaps this affects people who aren’t just visiting but looking for a home. My holiday experiences might prompt me to think about what caused the discomfort, whether it was unhelpful and whether the same issues may be present at home.
However, there are two other considerations here. First, writing particularly as a pastor, I’ve talked about this in connection with preaching feedback, there is a temptation to stay in role when I’m there. It’s important to remember that I am not that church’s pastor and that I’m on holiday from duties at home. So, I’m at that church, to join with the family of believers there, to worship God, enjoy fellowship and be fed with the Word. I’m not there to inspect, evaluate whatever. So, I need to leave behind at home any temptation to look at the service from a critical perspective. The one thing I cannot take a holiday from is worship and so I need to approach the gathering as a worshipper.
The other issue is this. It’s around, do people talk to us, should we stay for refreshments, what if no-one talks to us then. That’s where there’s an element of the aforementioned dilemma. We aren’t always good at welcoming people into our churches and our refreshment times, especially when they take place after the service in another room at the back of a building can be one of the most intensely awkward moments, especially if no one talks to the visitor or worse still, it is clear that those who invite you back for refreshments or come and talk to you as you stand awkwardly with your coffee and biscuit in a corner of the church hall, are doing so out of a sense of duty.
So, here is the thing. When I visit another church on holiday or as a one off, I need to remember that whilst I’m part of the wider family, the purpose of that gathering is for the local and immediate part of God’s family there. It’s not for me. This means that I shouldn’t resent it if people are not available to talk to me, especially if this is because they are busy looking after each other and visitors who may not yet know Jesus who may potentially be joining that church regularly. It means that I shouldn’t expect everything that happens to serve my needs and my family. In fact, I should be very careful about expecting them to serve my needs. Consider for example what happens if the church is set up with enough workers and resources to look after their own children and the visiting Presbyterian with 12 children all under 6 years old shows up blowing their worker ratios and using up all the paper doilies and cotton wool to make their lost sheep. That of course is an extreme example but I think the principle should be that we arrive to bless, not to inconvenience. Will it be a blessing or a hindrance for my kids to be in the Sunday School? Can I encourage people by sticking around for coffee or would it be a greater blessing if I explained that we were dropping in whilst on holiday but were now heading off to the beach freeing up the welcome team to link the new local family up with youth clubs and home groups.
So, if we do turn up at your church this summer, please don’t panic. We hope that our presence with you will be for mutual blessing.
Faithroots 