Sold short on empathy

In March’s Evangelicals Now, Bill James seeks to address what he calls “The problem with Empathy.” A few Christian writers and speakers have sought to argue in recent times that whilst we ought to sympathise with others, we shouldn’t empathise. Some have gone so far as to call empathy sin.*

James argues that empathy’s problem is its relationship to contemporary approaches to compassion which he says “is expressed as the affirmation of someone’s experience without challenge or criticism.” He goes on to suggest that in church:

“If we empathise with someone who has fallen into sin we fully understand why they have sinned, the pressures that they face, and the difficulty of their situation. So much so that we are reluctant to confront, or to follow the path of church discipline. Even if there is an acknowledgement that sin has been committed, we regard it as completely ‘understandable’ and so refuse to draw the line.”

I think that James’ approach to empathy is based on a number of significant misunderstandings and in fact sells us short in four particular areas.

First it sells us short with regards to our understanding of suffering. To be sure, it would be wrong to condone sin. However, is that the only reason, indeed, the main reason why we see people suffering in church life? What about the person who is ill with depression or the person who is struggling with bereavement? Is there no place for empathy with them? Yes, part of our pastoral responsibility is to confront sin but it is also about comforting sufferers. We need to be clear that in general suffering is not caused by sin and that expressing our suffering through our emotions is not sin in and of itself.

Secondly, it sells us short in terms of our doctrine of humanity. Empathy, according to James’ own definition “is to identify with someone’s feelings and point of view. It is sharing their feelings and emotions ‘as if they were our own’. We then see things from their viewpoint.” Another way of putting it is that sympathy looks in from the outside with concern and pity whereas empathy means to step in to the situation, even into the other person’s shoes so that we see things from the inside looking out. As Christians, we should be able to do that because we are fellow sinners and fellow sufferers. We are not coming in as the rescuer, we are there to take people to the one who can save and heal.

Thirdly, it sells us short in our view of who Christ is and what Christ has done at Calvary. We may not want to use the word “empathy” to describe what he has done for us but not because it says too much about him but because it says too little. What Christ has done is more than empathy not less. He is the one who stepped into our world, into our shoes, he didn’t jus tlook on and see our suffering from the outside, he stepped in and bore it. He is the one who even took our sin, shame and guilt on himself.

Fourthly, it sells us short when it comes to the work of the Holy Spirit. What I mean by this is that if we go back to his claim that empathetic Christians will struggle to properly confront sin and at the same time take my point that we are fellow sufferers and sinners who don’t rescue a person or dispense our advice but instead stand with them, then our responsibility is to come with them to the very one who can help them, God himself. This means that we trust God, through his Holy Spirit and through his Word to convict of sin and indeed bring comfort for suffering.

It is unfortunate that some seem to have got into a muddle over empathy. Gospel centred empathy is a good gift to the church.

* I initially provided this post as a response article for consideration by Evangelicals Now. However, they indicated that they might use it on their letter’s page. Obviously EN are free to determine which articles they publish. However, as I didn’t write the article as a letter to the editor, I felt it better to publish here instead.