My mum and sister were in tears. The person confronting them seemed harsh and stern. I remember dad walking up to to us from the communion table and saying “come on we are leaving.” I think there was an immediate sense that this just didn’t mean “we’re going home”. We were leaving that church and sure enough the next Sunday we were at Sunbridge Road Mission.
This is one of my early memories and one of the few vividly clear ones, even though at the time I did not fully understand the significance. Dad had been invited a couple of years previously to be the lay (unpaid) pastor of a small Baptist Chapel. His time there finished abruptly. It turned out that someone had decided that having disliked a pastoral decision, they could not have a go at the pastor but they could get into an argument with my mum and say things she considered unfair about my sister. Dad had decided to resign on the spot and he was coming back from leaving his resignation letter on the communion table. His concern was to protect and care for his family.
However, I suspect that the decision had not started there, Momentous decisions rarely happen in the moment. My observation was that we would return for dad to visit and preach from time to time (he had stayed on good terms) and it was clear that the church had gone down a different trajectory to where dad would have led. We also know that many left the church to form a new church. There were divisions in the church. Indeed, the people involved in the argument would later be part of that church and would always greet our family with much love and warmth.
And a further clue. Dad will sometimes tell the story of when he had been visiting another church to preach. Start and finish times meant he was back early to pick us up from Sunday School, the visiting preacher was from a new, rising movement within the Bradford area, the speaker was part of that movement and at the time it was increasingly beign seen negatively among evangelical churches in the city. Dad describes hearing a sermon along the lines of
“God is staring a new thing in this city. We are that new thing. You should leave your church and join us.”
I think that Dad’s instincts were to protect the church family as well as our family but the extent to which that was possible in a fragile local church might be uncertain.
Now fast forward to my teens and a different scenario. We are on holiday on Anglesy. There’s a famous spot where you can go to observe the puffins nesting. I am getting as close as possible to the edge of the cliff to see them when suddenly and instinctively, dad has leapt forward to pull me back from the edge and falling to my certain death. I’m a lot more wary about cliff edges these days and keen to make sure my own family don’t get to close to the edge.
Today dad is 80. He’s been through much over the past few years not least saying goodbye to our mum a few years back He still experiences that loss keenly and indeed always will do. IThe stories above might seem an odd place to start a birthday tribute but on reflection they sum up much of who dad is and what he is like. And the key thing that should stand out is his concern as a husband, father and church leader to protect and keep them safe.
I hope that if there’s anything I’ve picked up from my dad, it’s that same instinct toward my family and church.
