Sometimes in discussions about the roles of men and women, especially with regards to the debate about complementarianism and egalitarianism, Proverbs 31 is cited as significant. How relevant exactly is this passage to the debate? That will depend on the purpose of the passage. There are three options.
- The Proverb is intended as a hymn of praise to an actual person.
- The Proverb describes the ideal or model wife.
- The Proverb is intended as a metaphor for wisdom and nothing to do with practical family life.
Different commentators have made their case in favour of each option. Wolters sees this is a form of heroic hymn in praise of the ‘valiant woman’. He bases his conclusion on observed similarities with Psalm 112 on which he comments,
“Psalm 112 is universally classified as a wisdom psalm, yet it is a kind of mirror image of its twin, Psalm 111, which is usually classified as a hymn. of praiseworthy deeds (including compassion and liberality), and culminates in the theme of the fear of the Lord.”[1]
He goes on to argue that,
“There is no reason to restrict the term ‘hymn’ to songs in praise of God. Historically at least, the Greek hymns applied to poetry ‘in praise of gods or heroes’.”[2]
Waltke agrees, noting the parallel with Ruth who also was a ‘valiant woman.’ He argues that,
“Had the author intended an identification with figurative Woman Wisdom, it is unlikely that he would have referred to her as a ‘valiant wife,’ which denotes a real woman in its other occurrence (12:4)”[3]
Longman argues in favour of an idealised view of women. He says:
“The description is an ideal and should not be used as a standard by which to measure and critique women.”
[4]To some extent, whether or not this is an achievable ideal depends on the meaning of verse 18. Does this mean that she works exceptionally long hours well into the night? Waltke thinks that a more likely explanation is that this is a reference to the prosperity that comes with her productivity. Rich people sleep with the lights burning, not in total darkness.[5]
Finally, Perdue and Murphy lean towards the woman here being a metaphor for wisdom.
“The poem on ‘the woman of worth’ provides a striking inclusion to the book of Proverbs, which opens with poems dealing with Woman Wisdom in chapters 1, 8, and 9 and now concludes with the concrete example of the wise woman in an Israelite or Jewish house-wife and mother, who, while admittedly wealthy, engages in the sapiential virtues of care, hard labor, wisdom, and the fear of Yahweh.”[6]
It seems that there is a plausible argument for all of the options. In fact, perhaps, rather than attempting to choose between them, we can see a pattern where the compiler of Proverbs draws intentionally on a hymn praising a particular person. This may well have been an actual historical figure, perhaps the wife of King Lemuel, or even his mother who taught him.[7] Poetry would of course use exaggerated and figurative language to idealise that family situation. Such a poem would fit well as a conclusion to the book of Proverbs which has used the ideal woman motif as a metaphor for wisdom. Finally, even if the purpose here is to praise wisdom, then its imagery is still rooted in a particular view of what counts as positive in family life, no matter how idealistic. If we find descriptions of women operating in the economic arena and taking leadership responsibilities, those are positive, not negative images.[8]
With that in mind, how does the Proverb describe this woman? First, she is describes as “excellent” and the qualities she possesses are rare meaning that she is precious, of great value. This would point us towards either exaggerated praise of a specific person or that we are mean to see this as idealised (v10). Her relationship with her husband is based on trust. He can depend on her. She seeks his good. She is faithful to him (v11-12).
She is industrious, hard-working and entrepreneurial. She makes things, provides food and is involved in commerce (buying and selling). Her reach extends beyond the home and immediate community (v16-17). She is described in terms of strength as much as beauty (v17). Her work is profitable. As noted above, the image of the light in the night may suggest prosperity, the ability to light and warm the home after dark (v17-19). She is compassionate, seeking to care for the poor. This compassion and charity arises from a position of security. She knows that her own family are provided for (v20-22). The result of all of this is that her husband is freed up for the business of community leadership, participating in the discussions of the elders. He is not completely absent from the picture but certainly trusts her enough to absent himself from these economic decisions (v23).
For emphasis, these themes are repeated and re-emphasised again in verses 24-27. This builds into further praise from her family, she is blessed and is a blessing (v28). Superlatives are used to describe her in verse 29. She surpasses all other women. This points to an idealised view here.
Verses 30-31 draw our focus back to the primary lessons of Proverbs. There may be much to praise her but what really matters is that she fears God. This reminds us that even if this is about praising a specific woman, the reason for including it in the book is to draw our attention back to true wisdom.
Remembering that this poem creates an idealised view of the marriage and that its main aim is to draw our attention to true wisdom as the fear of the Lord is crucial for two reasons. First of all, it discourages men from seeking out a rose-tinted image of the idealised wife (as though all that matters is that she meets his expectations without any thought to whether he meets hers). More important than finding a wife that meets all your needs and expectations is that together you seek God. It also guards women and girls from legalistic expectations being placed on them by others or even by themselves. Women find their value not in meeting the standards of traditional society or contemporary culture. It’s not the outward appearance of strength, beauty or accomplishment that matters. Your value is found in your relationship to Christ.
Coming back to what the Proverb has to say in regards to the complementarian v egalitarian debate, it is important to note two things. First, that the idealised imagery here points to a woman who complements her husband. She lives not for her own accomplishments but for happiness and wellbeing of her husband and family. It would be a little anachronistic to say that the poem assumes a complementarian framework but it certainly does not contradict that thinking.
However, the poem also makes it clear that a woman has standing, value, worth. She can be described positively as strong. She can be successful in business. She is a leader in the home and in the wider world. New Testament references to women being busy at home or managing the home need to be read against this backdrop. We are not meant to think of “home” as being the modern nuclear family with important matters including work and trade happening elsewhere. The household is central to such things and the wife is central to the household.
This is important because some people go beyond seeing complementarianism as limited to the description of how husbands and wives relate to each other with implications for eldership in the church to an attempt to define how men and women relate to one another in wider society. For example, some complementarians including John Piper lean towards a view that women should not hold positions of leadership authority in the workplace or wider society. Some arguing that it is not possible for women to hold positions in government. I do not see compelling evidence for this view in Scripture and think it goes beyond what we see there. Proverbs 31 points to a world where women were involved in work and business and where their leadership in those areas was portrayed positively.
[1] Al Wolters, The Song of the Valiant Woman: Studies in the Interpretation of Proverbs 31:10-31 (Carlisle: Paternoster, 2001),5.
[2] Wolters, The Song of the Valiant Woman, 6.
[3] Waltke, Proverbs 15-31, 519.
[4] Tremper Longman III Proverbs (Baker Commentary on the Old Testament, Wisdom and Psalms. Grand Rapids, M.: Baker Academic, 2006), 540.)
[5] Bruce Waltke, The Book of Proverbs Chapters 15-31 (NICOT. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 2005), 526-527.
[6] (Leo G Perdue, Proverbs (Interpretation. Louisville, Kentucky: John Knox, 2000), 279. See also Roland Murphy, Proverbs (WBC 22. Nashville, Tenn.: Nelson, 1998), 246.).
[7] C.f. Proverbs 31:1-9.
[8] Ruth A Tucker, Women in the Maze. Questions & Answers on Biblical Equality (Downers Grove, Ill: Inter-varsity Press, 1992), 75.
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