The other week, we had a discussion in our life group about how we relate together as brothers and sisters in the church. It was a practical application of some of the things we’ve been learning about from Galatians 3:28. In advance, I threw the question out to social media to see what kinds of things came back. I was particularly interested to hear from female Christians.
One major theme came back which I think relates to the articles I’ve already shared and also linked with some of the things described at our Life Group. It was that over a substantial period of history, women, especially – though not exclusively -when single feel that they have been treated as a threat, a danger to men, their purity and their godliness. It reflects in the kinds of things that are focused on in talks to girls about what they dress and how they behave but it also relates to what became known as “The Billy Graham Rule”.
Billy Graham famously resolved as a travelling evangelist not to be ever alone in the company of a woman other than his wife. There may well have been some practical wisdom for an evangelist in the public eye, on the road a lot, not just about temptation but about appearances when others were falling into scandal and the media were looking for a gotcha moment. However, it became quite a strict legalistic rule and has at times even been applied beyond the original scope.
For example, one person, Claire, described a church context where single women were seen as a threat. One Sunday, she casually offered to pray for a man who had an injured leg and was in a wheel-chair. He insisted that his wife had to be present, right next to him for this to happen, even though they were in an open, public space.[1]
Now, this does highlight another point here. Many of us would follow a general guideline, not a strict legalistic one but a principle that women are best praying with women and men with women. There are a few reasons for this, including who people might prefer to share with and this includes, not that men would necessarily be tempted by a woman but that some women may be uncomfortable having a man approach them, fearing him as a potential threat and with the risk that some might manipulate a situation. Now, sadly, there are too many examples around of terrible sinful behaviour by men for us not to ignore that. However, there are some important challenges here about the messages we send to women in the church.
Then, Eleni, raised the issue of what messages we send out to those who are same sexed attracted? As she pointed out, we send out the signal, that they can never be alone with anyone, that no-one will form close friendships with them. And Eleni gets to the heart of the matter when she comments:
“If you see people as stumbling blocks you’ll treat them as such, it’s a form of objectification. If a woman hugs you and you see that as romantic interest or an invitation to sex, you’re wrong. Do the work.”[2]
We are not at this point relating as brothers to sisters, as co-heirs in Christ. We, I’m speaking as a man, to men, see the world as primarily revolving around us and our needs. Claire added that:
“Many people come into church broken already. We need to behave like adults in Christ.”[3]
Now coming back to Galatians as the starting point for this discussion, the primary reason why we put these kinds of boundary rules in place often start from a desire to protect. Yes, that can come from a place of believing that men needed to be protected from temptation but as I said, it also comes from a view that women need protecting from men too.
This is where Galatians and much of the New Testament comes in. The desire to protect is a good one but do you see the problem? Like Peter and Barnabas, godly men who got drawn into something unhelpful, the route taken to protection has become one of rules and regulations, of legalism and of not just marking out boundaries but of putting up barricades.
A big theme in Galatians is that such an approach fails in the end. It excludes the wrong people for the wrong reasons whilst giving others the impression that they are included without a heart changing encounter with Jesus. Ultimately it also fails to protect because it does not change or guard hearts. It is right that we are concerned for godly living and the protection and well-being of the church but that has to come through Gospel encounters. We want to be men who keep women at a distance in order to avoid the risk or appearance of temptation but at the same time objectivise them in our minds or, even in the presence of others by how we act towards them, speak to and about them and think of them still harm them and fail to be good brothers to them.
And of course, Paul will go on in Galatians to show that this is all about the transforming power and presence of the Holy Spirit.
[1] Claire Jenkins 🇺🇦 on Twitter: “@davidbunce @faithrootsDW I would concur. I offered prayer once to a man with a broken leg, he insisted his wife had to be by his side throughout, as if I was going to pounce on him in the middle of the congregation. Such attitude doesn’t benefit anyone.” / Twitter
[2] Eleni Brooks on Twitter: “@faithrootsDW If you see people as stumbling blocks you’ll treat them as such, it’s a form of objectification. If a woman hugs you and you see that as romantic interest or an invitation to sex, you’re wrong. Do the work. 1/” / Twitter
[3] Claire Jenkins 🇺🇦 on Twitter: “@davidbunce @faithrootsDW Many people come into church broken already. We need to behave like adults in Christ.” / Twitter
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