In our look at 1 Corinthians 10, I used the example of someone pushing the boundaries, taking risks with their faith being like a driver taking corners at speed close to the cliff edge. They risk plunging off of the edge into a deep ravine.
1 Corinthians 10 offers a warning against taking risks, falling into sin and car crashing your faith.[1] However, as I also said, for many people, the car crash has already happened. It feels like we’ve already gone over the edge.
As I thought about this, I realised that we were back looking at the problem of guilt and shame again. What happens when we have completely messed up? Our spiritual life is in tatters, our faith rocked, the consequences are all to plain and all too painful? What happens when my calling is put in jeopardy, my family torn apart, my home taken from me, my job lost and all because of my own failing?
Our natural response is to want to hide isn’t it? Shame and fear does this. Shame because we don’t want to let people see us for who we really are. We want to hide, run away, escape. Fear because we believe (maybe even know) that still worse consequences are to come. Perhaps the worst consequence of all will be the look of disappointment and hurt we will see in the eyes of close friends, family, a pastor etc. We fear the wagging finger; we fear the words that tell us there is no hope. We fear being told “I told you so, I warned you.”
So, we hide away with our pain. Sometimes we run physically, we move away, home, work, church. Sometimes we hide behind a mask, pretending everything is okay with a smile whilst we bury the guilt and pain deep inside where it eats away at us. Sometimes we blame others, they let us down, failed us, led us astray. Sometimes we blame God.[2]
I remember as a youngster going round to my nan’s on my bike. On route I took a bend too quickly and came off landing flat in gravel cutting my hand badly and getting grit in the wound. I got to Grandma’s house and she put a quick bandage on it but told me I needed to get my mum and to have a look. I didn’t. I went home and kept the wound under wraps. Why? It all seems foolish now but I was afraid that when the bandage came off all of that grit was going to have to be removed bit by bit and it was going to hurt. So I hid the wound away. When the bandage did come off, they took one look we were straight off to hospital. By hiding it away I’d made things worse increasing the risk of infection.
When we hid away in shame and fear, we make things worse. Guilt, shame and hurt consume us from the inside. Relationships get more and more damaged. We become isolated from God’s people exposing us to further temptation.
Allowing those self-inflicted wounds to be exposed will be painful, it will hurt. It may be embarrassing as we have to own up to our responsibility and foolishness. But when we do this, we find that God is the one who heals. God restores, God forgives.
So if you are hiding or running can I encourage you to stop. That might mean sticking with a church you planned to leave. It might mean taking your house off the market and staying put. It will surely mean going and talking with someone, a responsible Christian you can trust. It will mean allowing them to speak God’s Word into your life.
But the important thing is this. Don’t allow shame and fear to overwhelm you. The car crash does not have to be the end of things. God’s grace and mercy are abundant. God’s love is eternal. He is willing and able to forgive, cleanse, heal and restore.
Why do we push the boundaries?
So why do we drive close to the cliff edge. Why do we push the boundaries? In 1 Corinthians 10, Paul talks about those who “Test Christ.”
Whilst the Corinthians saw this as a sign of their maturity and spiritual strength, I think it’s a sign of weakness not strength of doubt not faith.
Parents, Sunday Club leaders, etc. are amazing people. They love the children in their care patiently and unconditionally. Deep down, the kids know this. But what do they do? They test you. They push the boundaries. Partly that’s because they want to know what they can get away with and partly I think there’s a desire to prove whether or not you really do love them. Sometimes you sense that youngsters almost want the test to fail, they want to push the boundary to breaking point especially if they believe that they are unlovable.
We can do this in church life, pushing the boundaries with others, seeing how far we can stretch their patience. Wondering when they will snap. Am I really loved, do I really belong? I think we do it with God at times as well. In fact, going back to the garden of Eden, that’s one of the root causes of sin. Adam and Eve are tempted to believe that God does not really love him and so they test him. The Israelites in the wilderness test God because they lose faith. They don’t believe he has their best interests at heart. They think he has led them into the wilderness to die.
So what’s the antidote to this? Well, I think there are a few things.
- Look around (present grace). We need the encouragement, fellowship and support of other believers. Don’t get isolated from them. Don’t get isolated from your church family either by getting out of the habit of coming together for worship ro by only having contact on Sundays. Part of present grace is what is sometimes called “The means of grace” communion and baptism as reminders of God’s grace to us.
- Look backwards (past grace). Remember what God has done for you and for his people in the past. That’s why personal testimony is a great help. That’s why it’s important to spend time in Scripture.
- Look forwards (Future Grace). God has kept his promises in the past and he will keep his promises in the future. Present trials are temporary. We have eternity with Christ to look forward to.
[1] Paul elsewhere uses the more ancient metaphor of shipwrecking your faith.
[2] In fact, this is the point of 1 Corinthians 10:13 we can’t blame others because ~God does not test beyond what we can bear. We need to take responsibility for our own sin.
Faithroots 