Are equality and authority in competition?

I recently saw a comment relating to the debate on complementarian marriage that it is not possible to have permanent authority over someone and be equal to them?  Is that right?  On the surface it seems obviously true, especially from a post modern perspective. However, I just want to get us to push our thinking a little further.

First of all,  I think that we have to check what Scripture says in the context of marriage do husbands have authority over their wives and are they equal to each other?  Well first, the image of headship and the requirement for wives  to submit does point to authority. However husbands and wives are Co heirs with Christ, made in God’s image and if they are also to submit to one another as part of the church that points to equality.  Scripture points to both authority and equality being permanent.

I think that the problem has been with some faulty assumptions shared by both egalitarians and complementarians. 

First, the conflation of authority and hierarchy forgets that we will often find ourselves under the authority of others,  a pastor, an employer, our parents,  the government etc.  this does not make one person less than the other. 

Second,  a husband’s specific headship in marriage does not equate to general  authority by men over women in all aspects of life.  The authority is for a specific purpose.

Thirdly,  it is not permanent.  It lasts only from when the couple get married until they die. We need to see relationships from an eternal perspective.  Check out what Jesus has to say about marriage, or rather the absence of marriage, in eternity.

The bottom line is that God’s Word doesn’t have a problem with authority and equality.  That might be counter intuitive to our cultural assumptions but perhaps that should encourage us to dig deeper in our understanding.