One of the criticisms made of the Church by some is that we allowed fear of the virus and dying from it to overwhelm us and so, we lost sight of the hope we have in Christ. The implications of such critiques is threefold. First, it suggests that the primary problem was fear of the virus itself so that other fears didn’t matter. Secondly, it suggests that the fear was misplaced either because it was irrational to show fear in the face of what some consider to have been a low risk, mild illness or because our fears betrayed a lack of faith in God.
I did a quick dip check on Twitter amongst friends and acquaintances to see how they had responded to the pandemic. These were the results of the two questions I asked.
Now, remember that these social media polls are not the same as properly run opinion polls. I would not pay attention to the percentages as representative of the wider population. Those taking part are self-selecting. However, it does tell me something about the range of recollections among my friends and acquaintances on twitter.
So, the key things to observe are that first, people have acknowledged fear of a range of things. Yes, some people, a significant proportion of those who responded acknowledged fear of illness and death. However, people were afraid of other things too. There were those who feared the consequences of lockdowns. I was among those who had such fears. Fear of lockdown included potential economic, social and psychological impact. Then there were those who feared the opportunities that the pandemic gave for the State to become more authoritarian and interfering, finally, there were those who feared risks from the vaccines of serious side-effects.
The first observation we can make then is that if those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, then before we criticise some people for being afraid of a specific illness then we need to check our own fears. I wasn’t particularly afraid of that illness but I do fear some illnesses and I was afraid of other things during the pandemic. Before we ask “Did some become overwhelmingly afraid of illness and dying so that they lost sight of gospel hope?” We need to check “Did I become overwhelmingly afraid of the state/the vaccine/lockdowns to the point where I became blind to Gospel hope?”
Secondly, the word “overwhelming” is crucial as are the consequences stated. Fear in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. I remember interviewing Jeremy Marshall on my podcast during one of the lockdowns as he talked about faith and terminal cancer. Jeremy talked openly and honestly about the fear he experienced when he first got the news. If there were no such thing as fear then there would be no such thing as bravery and furthermore, fear helps us to respond to real risks and dangers.
The question of course is “What do you do with your fear?” Notice that those who responded to my short questionnaire included those who were largely unaffected by it, they were not too bothered. Then there were those who prompted by fear took steps to mitigate against the danger. That might have included complying with lockdowns to mitigate against illness. Those who took court cases were mitigating against fear of the State whilst those of us who ran online events on a daily basis were seeking to mitigate against the dangers of lockdown.
Sadly, there were some who recognised that their fear had a paralysing impact. However, several identified with the statement that fear motivated them to prayer which is surely a good thing, whether or not the fear was overwhelming, far from blinding them to Gospel hope, it pushed them towards it. I also do not know what they prayed about. Perhaps they prayed to be rescued from the danger they feared, perhaps they prayed that God would help them to conquer their fears.
The risk with focusing on criticising those who feared something different to us during the pandemic and jumping to conclusions about how that fear impacted them is that we can end up becoming blind to the danger of our own current fears.
Earlier, I mentioned that yes, I sometimes fear illness. I am probably not alone in that. Now, fear of illness doesn’t necessarily mean that you are afraid of death. Yes, sometimes, even believers can suffer bouts of uncertainty about what is beyond death, what if we have got it wrong and are deluded. If that becomes your overwhelming thought, to the point of losing assurance then that is something serious to address. However, if it encourages you back to Scripture and prayer then that is no bad thing.
However, I think it is more common for us to be afraid of the consequences of illness. I think that many who were afraid of COVID-19 were primarily concerned of experiencing significant suffering, the isolation of hospital, becoming a burden and cause of grief to others and infecting vulnerable people. The illnesses I tend to fear are those which might mean the loss of mental capacity. I don’t want to lose my mind and my memories.
Of course, worrying about such things is not going to reduce any risk as Jesus himself pointed out. However, being alert to particular fears does mean that we can respond both by following wise advice to care for our health now and more importantly by clinging more and more to Christ, using the time to pray and to listen to God. In my example, that means that yes I do tell God about what I fear and I ask him to keep me and my loved ones safe from such illnesses. However, I also pray that should I suffer such an illness then I will continue to live faithfully and be holy through it. I also make sure that I use every opportunity whilst my mind definitely is active and alert to speak and write for Christ.
But I also know that I can allow fear to overwhelm if I’m not careful. I know that I can be prone to anxiety. This came to a head a few years ago when I was diagnosed with Mixed Anxiety and Depressive Disorder. At that stage, I truly was paralysed by mental illness. I’ve written about that elsewhere. What this means though is that I need to be even more alert to the risk of anxiety causing me to become distracted and ruminate. It means that other things can become dangers to me. For example, recently my doctor ordered those routine blood tests that some GPS like to do when you hit middle age. He had spotted on last year’s tests that something was a little bit higher than normal and so suggested a few extra checks. To avoid any unnecessary concern from readers, clearly not something causing him undue concern and something that probably reflects what my results would have historically shown over many years.
About the same time, I discovered that via the NHS app, I can see a lot of my medical history and I could see the blood results when they came in. The problem with that is that the information is incomplete and as I’m not a doctor, I’m not in a position to interpret them. This means that someone like me is at risk of ruminating and getting my information from Dr Google, not a good place to go! So, I did something really important. I realised that the thing I needed to fear here was not some rare illness that would presumably have been showing symptoms by now. Rather I needed to fear my risk of anxiety caused by a form of idolatry to the NHS app. So, reader, I deleted it!
That’s the crucial thing. The real problem is when the things we fear become our idols, we become beholden to them. Rather than fearing our idols, we should fear and flee from idolatry. That’s another way of saying that we should fear God.
Faithroots 