Marriage at work (9) Protection and abuse

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8.1. The Problem So far, our scenarios have assumed a reasonably positive family situation.  We have considered to some extent the husband’s responsibility when his wife is unwilling to submit to his leadership in decision making, but what happens when the context turns more sinister?

The happy narcissist

It’s not too difficult to spot a narcissist. They are the ones who believe that the world revolves around them. They have an excessively high view of their own importance and abilities.  Now, to be clear narcissism should not be confused with confidence.  It is possible to have a natural confidence and awareness of your… Continue reading The happy narcissist

Gay Conversion Therapy: You can’t use already criminalised behaviour to justify criminalising legitimate behaviour

The I newspaper recently reported a very distressing case of a woman claiming that her pastor raped her in order to “cure” her of her Lesbianism.  If true, then this is another horrendous example of abuse in the church.  It may not be possible now to establish the truth concerning the allegations about he pastor… Continue reading Gay Conversion Therapy: You can’t use already criminalised behaviour to justify criminalising legitimate behaviour

Trauma, grief and response to abuse

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Over the past few years, I’ve written and spoken quite a bit about the problem of abusive cultures particularly in the context of church life. First of all, my concern is to see us doing better in letting what we believe affect how we live so that doctrines of grace lead to cultures of grace.… Continue reading Trauma, grief and response to abuse

The (church) body keeps the score

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I recently referred to the book “The body keeps the score” which talks about how mental health issues and in particular trauma related health is not just in the mind. The physical brain, nervous system and the body are affected by trauma, respond to it and keep score of the damage inflicted. So, I’ve begun… Continue reading The (church) body keeps the score

Facing Depression – prominent causes

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In this audio podcast, I talk about some of the prominent causes of depression including physical/medical causes, the direct consequences of others’ words and actions, and spiritual causes of depression Video versions of these talks are all available on YouTube

Church Discipline and Church abuse

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There’s been some recent discussion on social media about the use of church discipline and whether or not it can be harmful and lead to examples of abuse.  The discussion was prompted by this article by Steve Kneale which was then shared by John Stevens – you can read the thread below John’s tweet to… Continue reading Church Discipline and Church abuse

How we respond to concerns about abusive and bullying culture matters for the culture

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There have been a range of responses to the recent scandals and reviews concerning abuse in the church. On the one hand there are those who I think wish it would all just go away.  We’ve identified a few rotten apples, they’ve been dealt with so let’s move on. There have been others however who… Continue reading How we respond to concerns about abusive and bullying culture matters for the culture