Category: pastoral-care

Something has changed -marriage, singleness and friendship

Last week, I responded to some of the speculation around Matt Chandler’s leave of absence from The Village Church. There seemed to be a strong presumption and a lot of speculation around the announcement that the sin must have been far worse than suggested. Otherwise, in effect, Chandler’s church were imposing a legalistic “Billy Graham… Continue reading Something has changed -marriage, singleness and friendship

Good questions about depression, anxiety and mental health

A few weeks back I had the opportunity to speak to a group of teenagers about mental health and to share my own story about experiencing depression and anxiety. After speaking for a few minutes, I opened the floor to questions. I expected an awkward silence and maybe some prompted questions from the leaders but… Continue reading Good questions about depression, anxiety and mental health

Are you ready to have the tough conversations?

If you are a pastor or elder in the church, then your responsibility is to provide and protect.  We see this in Acts 20:28-31 28 “So guard yourselves and God’s people. Feed and shepherd God’s flock—his church, purchased with his own blood[h]—over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you as leaders.[i] 29 I know that false teachers, like… Continue reading Are you ready to have the tough conversations?

Headship – what are husbands meant to do?

I mentioned the other day a friend who was asking challenging questions about headship, submission, complementarianism and headship. Here’s another of their questions. If the core characteristic of male headship in marriage is love not leadership, why do we focus on submission to a husband’s leadership instead of his love? They are thinking primarily of… Continue reading Headship – what are husbands meant to do?

All the single ladies?

I’ve written before about how men in the church should talk to and shouldn’t talk to and about women.  Sadly, there was a horrific example of how not to talk about women in an interview between Doug Wilson and Michael Foster posted recently online. The conversation is primarily about singleness but I want to pick… Continue reading All the single ladies?

Look after your leaders’ mental health

I’ve written before about my own brush with anxiety and depression. You can read my story here, here and in the book, The Pastor with a thorn in his side (ed. Steve Kneale).  I wanted to say a bit more about how churches can look after the mental health of their pastors and other leaders… Continue reading Look after your leaders’ mental health

Mental Health, spiritual warfare and demons

Traditionally one of the tensions and taboos around mental health has been the perception that this is primarily a spiritual issue with people believing that mental illness from depression through to schizophrenia is caused by sin or even by demonic oppression and possession. When I’ve written about mental health before, I’ve urged care in this… Continue reading Mental Health, spiritual warfare and demons

It’s time to scrap Marriage preparation courses

If you are married, did you have marriage preparation classes?  What were they like? Any good?  I know of some people that were given a very intensive programme of instruction with lots of reading homework in between each meet up. We on the other hand were given two compulsory sessions, one where we watched a… Continue reading It’s time to scrap Marriage preparation courses

How we think about abuse matters

Yesterday I shared an update on my correspondence with Premier Christianity about their article claiming that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene. We might leave it there except that the article seems to be part of a concerning trend from a pastoral perspective. It was followed by two articles that I find deeply concerning in… Continue reading How we think about abuse matters